Tears fell down her cheeks, like the rain dropping on her umbrella.

"I dreamed of my granddaughter several times," Tan Yunlan said while sobbing.

Supported by her daughter, the elderly woman gazed at a pile of rubble which used to be an apartment building in the former Beichuan county seat.

Tan's son-in-law arranged several bricks to burn incense, while her daughter took out a folded handkerchief from her bag. She opened it and placed the photo of a four-year-old girl inside, then gently placed it on the ground.

Behind the family, people walked slowly in twos and threes, holding candles or white chrysanthemums. Firecrackers would sound sporadically.

As Saturday was China's traditional Tomb Sweeping Day, survivors of the quake-leveled county returned to what's left of their homes to mourn loved ones.

Grief in quake zones

More than 80,000 people were confirmed dead or missing after the May 12, 2008 earthquake in southwest China's Sichuan Province.

One of the worst-hit areas, 15,645 people were killed in Beichuan. Another 4,311 others remain missing. Because of the destruction, the county has been closed-off since May 20 last year. For the first time since then, former residents were allowed to return for four days of mourning starting on Wednesday.

Life forever changed for Zhu Xiuhua after her husband was buried under the county's vegetable market.

"He was considerate and diligent, earning 3,000 yuan a month to support the family," she murmured, eyes swollen.

After the quake, Zhu became the family provider, taking care of her parents-in-law and two sons. Although the local government gave her some subsidy, she now has to work at construction sites like a man.

Facing the debris of the market, she drew a circle on the ground with a stick and wrote the name of her husband.

"There were too many people who died in the quake. I am afraid he can't find the money I gave him," she wept.

Zhu then lit a candle and placed it alongside the pork she had cooked and set by the debris. Pork, was her husband's favorite food. She then burned ghost money- one sheet after another, as an offering to help the dead in afterlife.

"Don't worry about us. We can manage it," she whispered to him.

In Qingchuan County, flower seller He Xiantong brought a bunch of chrysanthemums to an earthquake memorial park in Donghekou.

"Somewhere in the county, 40 meters underground, lies my wife," he said. "I feel that we are so close."

At the same time, their son, He Kaiyuan, who is in Chengdu, less than 300 kilometers away, stands facing Qingchuan. He also bought flowers for his mother and placed them on the ground.

"Dad visits mom every day," he said. "Mom, dad is with you. You must be happy in heaven."

In front of the tomb of Tan Qianqiu in Deyang city, just north of Chengdu, many strangers stopped to mourn.

The teacher, from the Dongqi middle school, sheltered four students with his arms when the quake jolted the building. When rescuers arrived, they discovered Tan had died, but the students all survived.

Huang Jing, a girl who was from Hunan Province, dedicated a bouquet to Tan.

"He is also a native of Hunan," she said. "Although he didn't know me, I brought him greetings from his hometown."

Mourning from elsewhere

In Fuzhou, capital of east China's Fujian Province -- some 2,000 kilometers away from the quake's epicenter- a ceremony was held for people to mourn victims.

In front of more than 100 people, two girls tied letters they had written to deceased relatives, to the legs of pigeons, then let them go.

"Dear little sister, how are you in heaven?" wrote 16-year-old Dong Yu.

"Does it still hurt? How are uncle and aunt?" her letter went on to say. Her cousin was just eight months younger than her.

"Mom still weeps sometimes, but there are so many people from Sichuan in heaven, you won't be lonely."

Together with 33 other students from Sichuan, Dong was sent to a vocational school in Fuzhou after the disaster.

"I am doing well here," she read, smiling, with tears.

People also chose to mourn the dead on the Internet.

"Chen Jian, I'm Xiaofeng. How are you in heaven?" This message was from Chen's wife Tan Xiaofeng on the website cq.qq.com.

After the earthquake, Chen, worried about his pregnant wife. He survived 73 hours under crushed concrete and twisted steel rods. He passed away after he was pulled out of the debris.

Netizens on the portal website Sohu, list his story as among the ten most touching from the earthquake.

"I miscarried," Tan Xiaofeng wrote.

After the earthquake she moved away from her hometown and went to work in eastern Jiangsu Province.

"I will be back to sweep tombs for him later this month," she said.

The website claims to be the first online platform for visitors to mourn quake victims on Tomb Sweeping day. So far, more than 7,000 messages were left by netizens. Photos showing touching moments during the quake and its aftermath were also posted.

On Sina.com, the page for mourning showed candles forming "5.12" and a white chrysanthemum. More than 2,373,000 people had visited the site as of Saturday afternoon. Some posted their own messages for victims: "There is no disaster in heaven," and "Hope the survivors can be strong and live a better life."

Looking into the future

Outside the barbed wire fence around the collapsed Beichuan middle school, 15-year-old Lu Chunqiao closed her eyes and held burning incense.

Four other students nearby burned a letter. In Chinese, there is a superstition that if you burn a letter, you are sending it to the dead.

The ninth grade students then knelt down, keeping their foreheads close to the ground.

They survived the quake, but more than 1,000 of their classmates were dead or missing.

"We want to tell them (the dead) the changes during this past year," Lu said. "Construction of the new school building is to start next month."

About one kilometer away from the Beichuan county seat, work rebuilding Qushan township just began.

Amid roaring machines, Liu Chunyi, an engineer from eastern Shandong Province said, "it is the greatest comfort to the dead to have those alive live a better life."

In Wenxian County of northwestern Gansu Province where 114 people succumbed in the quake, Liu Wencheng placed fruit and tea for his dead wife in a graveyard.

He told her that their two daughters were doing well at school.

Liu had 0.2 hectares of land, where he planted wheat, corn and potatoes.

"Life has to go on," he said.

After the quake, the local government sent him a quilt, food and electric blankets. Each affected family was also given 20,000 yuan (almost US$3,000) for reconstruction. It was not enough to build a house which is why Liu still lives in a tent. He is not sure how long he will be there.

In Sichuan, however, there is a timetable.

The province vowed to rebuild all damaged houses in rural areas by the end of this year and those in cities or townships before next May.

More than 90 percent of roads and 98 percent of the power supply system would be restored by September 2010.

But it will take longer than that for wounds in people's hearts to heal.

Many people suggested Tan Xiaofeng, who is just 26, should re-marry.

The idea just makes Tan cry.

"I can't accept another man," she said while shaking her head. "Not now."

(Xinhua News Agency April 5, 2009)